


A Place That Was Once Home

by izzbizzsquizz



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Crying, Flashbacks, Hurt No Comfort, Memories, No Dialogue, Pain, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Post-War, i have no clue how to tag wtf, this is my first fic lmao, tommys just going through it idk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-23 07:35:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30052074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/izzbizzsquizz/pseuds/izzbizzsquizz
Summary: Tommy gets out of prison and goes to the only place he can truly feel safe.Pogtopia
Comments: 1
Kudos: 39





	A Place That Was Once Home

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fic lol hi. I'm actually really nervous to post this but fuck it i guess. i hope you enjoy!
> 
> if you didn't already come from my twitter its here:  
> https://twitter.com/izzbizzsquizz

He was out. Oh my god he was finally out. He wanted to scream, he wanted to laugh, he wanted to cry but he just couldn't. Tommy just stood there; outside, finally not in that little obsidian box. He crumpled to the floor and just layed there, sitting alone in the grass.

He didn't know what to do, didn't know who to talk to, he just didn't. When he finally regained the energy to pick himself off the ground. He still didn't know what to do but he did know that he just wanted to go back. Back to when L'manburg was a new nation. There was no worry about the discs, or Tubbo, or any of his friends, there wasn't even worry about L'manburg. But he couldn't go visit L'manhole. It simply wasn't L'manburg anymore. He ended up letting his feet pull him wherever they were going to lead him. He walked past the hotel, not even stopping to speak to Sam Nook. he would do that later but right now he just needed to be alone. He walked past his house. Walked over the bridge and just stopped. Staring out into the wide expanse where L'manburg used to sit. He wanted to cry, he hadn't cried since L'manburg was destroyed. He never could, he didn't have the energy. Walking over the glass that covered the hole and seeing the blood vines that ran into the hole and coated the L'manburg flag, it felt like a trap, but Tommy continued walking. Eret's tower still stood watching over L'manhole, he remembers the day of the Manberg v.s Pogtopia war, the fireworks that rained down from the tower onto all of Manberg’s forces. That was a good day, until it wasn't. By this point Tommy knew where he was walking.

Pogtopia.

It was the only place that had memories of Wilbur that still existed. Well the good Wilbur that is, not the one trapped in the afterlife. The Wilbur that Tommy once knew. The person that always had Tommy's back, until he didn't. He remembered the day Wilbur announced wanted to blow up L'manburg. The way his stomach dropped and all he could think of was the place that he loved, blown to smithereens.

"Are we the bad guys?"

The words still ring through his mind. He can't help but feel responsible for the explosion of L'manburg. all of them. Maybe Wilbur was right.

"EVERYTHING that has gone wrong, it’s been- it’s down to us."

The last time he saw afterlife Wilbur felt so long ago and it felt even longer since he saw the REAL Wilbur. The Wilbur that actually cared, even if he only cared for his country at least he cared about something. It felt like he had been walking forever. Simply lost in thought about everything that once was, everything that could've been.

L'manburg. 

It held so much safety in those little blackstone walls. Sometimes he can't help but think back to the nice days. When the sun would peek over the edge of the horizon, and flags would wave proudly in the sky. The camarvan would always have chaotic noise inside from whatever potions were brewing and whoever was having fun in there. That noise had eventually begun to feel like home, it had become home. He remembered Wilbur smiling down at him and Tubbo as they stood proudly in their uniforms, ready to take on the world. But all that was gone now. It had been gone since Wilbur had blown it up.

"It was never meant to be" 

He shuddered as the words dashed across his mind. The first person who had said that was Eret. Right after the first lives of the server had been taken. Right before they almost lost something that meant so much to so many people.

The second person to say it was Wilbur. Right before he pressed that godforsaken button. Tommy vividly remembers the moment he heard the explosion. He ran around to face L'manburg as the smoke filled his lungs. He collapsed onto the grass, coughing between screams and sobs. 

The last person to say it was Niki. Right as she burned down L'mantree. A symbol of their nation, something that gave them hope. He found out it was gone after Technoblade and Dream had blown up L'manburg for what was the last time. It was heart-wrenching. The one thing that showed the resilience of their nation, gone. That was when it truly sunk in that there was no fixing this destruction, L'manburg was gone.

He snapped himself out of those thoughts. He didn't want to go there right now. The last thing he needed was more heartbreak.

"I could kill you. I could kill you right now, actually"

Dream began punching him, he was on two hearts, his body was screaming tears threatening to spill from his eyes. Schlatt was dead Tommy knew Schlatt was dead.

"Why don't you go see him then?"

Tommy gasped. He was lying in the grass, the bridge that led to Pogtopia blocking his view of the sun. He had just taken some damage so why was he back there? In the cell, with Dream punching him. It was hot and his vision was blurring as he watched his health decline. But he wasn't there, he was on nine hearts in the middle of the forest surrounding Pogtopia. He was fine.

Right?

He continued on his way to Pogtopia, hoping to leave whatever that flashback was behind him. The sun slowly sunk below the horizon. The stars were surprisingly therapeutic, he hadn't seen them in so long. He stood in a clearing and looked up, simply admiring the world that he had missed for that awful month. The sounds of mobs snapped him back as he picked up his pace to Pogtopia. 

It had been so long since he had visited but, he somehow remembered exactly which dirt blocks to break. The entrance was the same, the stairs winding down into the ravine stood a few steps away. Tommy chose to sit down on the bed. He looked around the little space that he and Wilbur had created on their first day being banned from L'manburg. He saw the chest that Dream had delivered all of his equipment in, it was still there, a thin layer of dust on the top. He didn't open it. Everything needed to remain the same, for whatever reason. It just needed to be preserved. 

Tommy finally gained the courage to start down the stairs. He remembered the railing that Techno tried to put up along the way down to stop Wilbur from falling; Wilbur absolutely hated that idea, he always hated being treated like a child. 

Tommy's breath stopped as he reached the bottom of the stairs. The ravine was dark, all the lanterns that once hung from the support beams and ceilings were gone and it left the space feeling eerie. Buttons still covered the walls, he wondered if there was actually TNT behind one of them like Schlatt had once threatened. Either way he was careful when running his hands along the walls, and walking along the bottom of the ravine. He smiled at the grass blocks that they had called the prime corner. The portal let out a faint glow from the other end of the ravine. The potato farm remained tilled but potatoes had not been planted for a long time. 

Tommy set down the ravine. The little campfire still sat next to the wall, it was no longer lit and hadn't been for a long time but he still remembers its faint glow. He approached the pit where he and Techno had fought. His hands firmly tucked in his pockets to keep them from shaking.

"The thing about this world, Tommy, is that the only universal language is violence, and we've had that conversation. We've spoken that language in the pit. It's over, Tommy.”

Techno's words still ring through his mind. Maybe he was right. Every time he's tried to talk to someone it just doesn't work, but that was a thought for another day. For now he was taking in everything around him. He walked past the tunnel that led to L'manburg. It was a fond memory building it with Tubbo. Sometimes he wishes he could go back and just relive some of these memories one more time. Like when Wilbur would play his guitar and the beautiful sounds would echo around the ravine, it was soothing and the nights that Tommy got to fall asleep to the sound, those were good nights.

He turned around walking past everything again. Seeing the little library that was a few blocks up from the ground. Tubbo always loved that library. Every time he was in Pogtopia he had to visit the library once. Just to look at the new books Techno had either found or written. Sometimes he would read them to Tommy and sometimes Tommy would read them to him.

He turned to his other side and saw what he truly came looking for. The little hole that he had locked himself in those months ago. He had been decorating the ravine; Wilbur thought it looked awful, Tommy knew it did too but he loved messing with Wilbur. He finally got sick of Wilbur ruining his decorations so he went and made a little hole for himself. He accidentally got stuck in the little cubby hole due to redstone activating some pistons. At the time it was frustrating, but now he realizes that he was able to make all his friends laugh. It was the last time everyone was happy together. Before the fall of L'manburg, before the exile, before his abuse at the hands of Dream, before everything.

So what TommyInnit did was crawl into that little cubby hole and sit with his knees tucked up to his chest. His chin rested on them, and for the first time since Wilbur had blown up L'manburg; he cried. He cried for everything that he had lost and everything he had endured, and he also cried for all the people who had felt the pain alongside him. For the severely misunderstood and the ones who had been through too much. He cried. His body shook as his sobs echoed around the cave. And it felt good. It was a release to feel sad.

TommyInnit had grown up too quickly, and was left feeling nothing.

Feeling something felt incredible.

**Author's Note:**

> ahhh i hope you enjoyed! i want to write more in the future but im probably gonna be pretty slow about it so yeah!


End file.
